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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27238177">To, Sirius</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22'>QueenOfNewOrleans22</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Feels, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:02:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>370</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27238177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An unsent letter from Remus.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To, Sirius</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>To, Sirius </em>
</p><p>
  <em>What am I supposed to say? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Albus says that this will help me, but I dare not believe him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>James is dead, Lily is dead, Peter is dead, and Harry is off with Lily's family. I dare not think of the kind of person Petunia has become in the years that've gone by. I'm scared for him, but I'm also scared for me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is that selfish? Merlin knows that you cannot answer that question. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But you will never see this letter, and that's okay by me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>What are you doing in that wretched place? Are the dementors driving you mad? Is the whole world turning upside down? That's how I felt when you learned the truth about you. It was like everything that I'd ever learned had suddenly been proved to be false, and I'm stuck, trying to make sense of things that cannot be understood. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why did you have to betray them, Sirius? How could you be so cowardly, so utterly twisted? They trusted YOU, and they were wrong but how could they have known any better? Harry will grow up without parents, all because of you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I should hate you, but I cannot. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because you are Sirius Black, the man I have loved since boyhood. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But were those kisses false, too? Lies? Am I nothing more than a monster to you, despite your words to the contrary? I am betrayed. I am hurt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I visited their graves yesterday, Sirius. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Harry will never know a mother's touch or a father's guidance, all because of you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But yet, my heart aches for the torture you must be going through, and my skin yearns for your touch. The bed is too big, and I miss you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Isn't that pathetic? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The kettle is whistling, so I must go. I will leave this letter in my nightstand where nobody shall discover it, least of all you, and I will go and try to make sense of my life. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss drinking tea with you, and looking out into the distance. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I must leave, and you must suffer, for you have done a horrendous thing, and I cannot bear to think of you much longer. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goodbye.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sincerely, Remus. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
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